Big Worm’s Bookmobile pt. 1

In a perfect world, I would have a library on wheels and I’d take my books with me everywhere I went. I’d let people come aboard my magical moving library and we’d talk about our favorite characters from our favorite books and we’d breakdown scenes that we thought were thought provoking, compelling and interesting. Hell, I’d even take it a step further and lend out a few of my books. I’d let people borrow books that maybe they hadn’t read yet or wanted to read again. But, if people didn’t bring back my books within the pre-agreed upon time frame, I’d come down on mfers hard. I mean late fees and fines would be the least of your worries. My library moves, we agile, I’m pulling up to yo momma’s house, I’m coming up to your job. And if you still acting like you “can’t find my book,” or you want to take your time dropping it into the night slot, I’m pulling pistols out. I’m gon have goons come shoot up your study sessions and book club meetings, or we’ll just catch you slipping outside of Barnes and Noble. I’m gon bump down on yo ass. I’d be like Big Worm from Friday, only instead of an Ice Cream Truck, I’m riding around the hood in a Bookmobile.

I love books.

And I love to read. I’ve been that way since I was young.

Back when I was in the fourth grade my school had a program called Accelerated Reader. This was basically a school-wide contest that took every book in the school library and assigned it a rank and a point value. A student would read a book, take a short quiz based on the contents of that book and if they passed the quiz, they would be awarded the designated number of points associated with that book.

I was a “C” student back then. I’ve actually always been a “C” student, popping up with the occasionally A or F based on my affinity for the subject or teacher. But when I heard that we were having a reading competition and every book was worth points, school had suddenly become a video game, and I was good at video games.

When the school year ended, I finished the Accelerated Reader Program in second place.  I was enraged that I hadn’t taken first.

It took the competition for me to realize that I was such a bookworm. I was reading everything I could get my hands on, and I never ever really slowed down.

I still love to read, and I have been amassing books to build my own dream library since I’ve been in college. I have books stacked on top of books in my house. I have books stacked on top of books in my father’s house. I’m pretty sure I have a couple of stacks of books tucked away in the attic of my wife’s parent’s house as well.

Needless to say, I have an obsession.

Now I haven’t read all of the books that I own. I haven’t even read half of them. In that way, I’m very much like Henry Bemis and my grand scheme is to wait for the world to end, then use the quiet time to catch up on all of my reading.

Until that time I do plan to read a couple of books and Big Worms Bookmobile is where I intend to share my thoughts on said books, after all, the best part of reading is talking about what you read.

For 2019 I’m hoping to knock out at least twenty-four books, six of which will be writing related. I am currently in the process of reading Strunk and White’s “The Elements of Style”, a book I’ve thumbed through a number of times but one that I’ve never read from cover to cover until now. After that, I have a stack of books already sitting on nightstand ready to go. My current stack contains the following:

“Characters & Viewpoint” by Orson Scott Card

“Spunk & Bite” by Arthur Plotnik

“20 Master Plots” by Ronald B. Tobias

“Sin and Syntax” by Constance Hale

“45 Master Characters” by Victoria Lynn Schmidt

and “On Writing” by Stephen King.

Those are, of course all craft books, for leisure I have a few other books that I am itching to read but they just haven’t made their way to my nightstand stack yet. “The Genius Plague” by David Walton, “Warlock Holmes: A Study in Brimstone” by G.S. Denning and “The Fall of House Cabal” by Jonathan L. Howard to name a few.

Yeah, Big Worm’s Bookmobile gon be booming this year.

“You owe me $300 in book fines. Now, I’ll be back here at 10:00 pm, not 10:05 not 10:36. If you ain’t got my money or my books, I’m killing you and him!”

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